All tied up

For the last 30 minutes I've been standing in front of a mirror tying ties around my neck. Yes, somewhat belatedly, I'm finally going through that male rite of passage: the learning of the tie-lore.

To just be clear, I already knew how to tie a Four In Hand knot, which is actually the Army standard. And while a Four In Hand is a perfectly adaquate knot, in that it results in a piece of fabric hanging from your neck, I've been noticing that everyone else in corporate America uses much, much more elaborate knots. And how am I supposed to keep up in the fast-paced, dog-eat-dog global economy if my breathing is constricted in only the most obvious way? Hence the tie practice. I think I've got the Half Windsor down pretty well, except I still can't get that sexy crease down the middle. I think that might be what they teach you during management training.

I can do a full Windsor knot too, except that I end up with the fat part of my tie hanging somewhere around the nipple region.